I have a friend who is way under the recommended weight for her height and age. My friends and I are concerned she may have an eating disorder and don't know how to confront her about the problem. She doesn't think anything is wrong with her. For a whole day all she ate was a fruit roll-up and she thought that was normal. She also thinks she has "fat parts" on her body and considering how skinny she is, we don't think that is normal. We're not sure how to confront her on this. Do you have any suggestions what may be wrong or how we should go about this problem?
Confronting a friend about the possibility of an eating disorder can sometimes be difficult. You may not know what to say or how you can help. It seems that your friend’s lack of eating would most likely be anorexia nervosa. According to Mayoclinic.com, people with anorexia are obsessed with food and their weight and body shape. They attempt to maintain a weight that's far below normal for their age and height. In extreme cases, they may be skeletally thin but still think they're fat. To prevent weight gain or to continue losing weight, people with anorexia may starve themselves or exercise excessively.
Although anorexia centers around food, the disease isn't only about food. Anorexia is an unhealthy way to try to cope with emotional problems, perfectionism and a desire for control. When someone has anorexia, they often equate their self-worth with how thin they are. It's not known specifically what causes some people to develop anorexia. As with many diseases, it's likely a combination of biological, psychological and sociocultural factors.
According to the University of Iowa Student Health website, there are some tips for friends for how to help someone with an eating disorder. One of these is:
- Realize that you are in exceedingly difficult circumstances. Sometimes you may feel angry, frustrated, helpless, afraid, powerless and enraged. Your friend may seem helpless and pathetic at certain times and at other times stubborn and resistant. She has come to have great power in the family despite this seeming contradiction--and she doesn't even realize it. Naturally you feel confused and distraught.
- Accept the fact that there are no quick answers or cures to an eating disorder. Psychotherapists and physicians cannot work magic. If your loved one/friend is to recover, then she must make changes in attitudes and behaviors. Also, the family must be willing to make some attitude and behavior changes to accommodate your loved one's new insights and growth.
- Avoid monitoring your child's/friend's eating and weight gain. Such power struggles are "no win" battles and will only reinforce an adversarial relationship. Also, she will be less able to perceive you as caring if you engage in such battles. Eating and weight gain are her responsibility.
To view the rest of the tips, click here: TIPS
Sources: Mayoclinic.com
University of Iowa Student Health Service
Ashley Musselman
Health Iowa Intern
Health Iowa/Student Health Service
Kathy Mellen, MA, RD, LD
Dietitian
Health Iowa/Student Health Service
Written 4/28/08
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